I’m barely 4’ 11”. I get how height insecurity affects more men than women, but height can eat into your self-confidence either way. As leg-lengthening surgeries become more common, I’m telling you that there are other ways to love your height, without putting yourself through surgery.
I’ve heard about leg-lengthening surgery before, but the procedure has gained popularity in recent years. A doctor in Las Vegas performs around 100 of these surgeries a year. More men than women get it and according to Dr. Kevin Debiparshad, he’s performed this surgery for people as young as 12 and those in their 70s. In the article from the LA Times, an 18 year old went through the procedure. At 5’ 7” tall, the young man got depressed about his height after a breakup. His ex-girlfriend apparently told him that “she was glad that they were breaking up because he was short.” He became suicidal and believes that getting taller is the key to his happiness.
Height and Weight
Weight has always dominated our conversation about body insecurities. It’s understandable, since it’s the one that we have always had a “fix” for. Diet, exercise, pills, and if need be, surgery. But height is more complicated. Until recently, the only thing one can really do is wear heels. We can all stand taller, but if we’re talking about inches that you’re yearning for, good posture can only get you so far.
Surgery gives you the inches. The maximum increase depends on a number of factors. While 2-3 inches seem to be the most common, some argue that you can gain up to 8 inches.
It’s not just leg lengthening, but people can opt for leg-shortening surgery. Moreover, there are reasons beyond cosmetic or mental anguish to get these surgeries. I’m not against the surgery. But I do hope that more people can find ways to love their bodies, beyond surgery.
I Am Short
I get why people would want this surgery. And like the young man who thinks that 3 extra inches would complete him, I had an ideal height that I thought would solve all my insecurities: 5 feet. One time in high school I was at a dance. Some guy asked to dance with me and when I stood up, he changed his mind and pointed out that I was too short. I’m not going to lie. That lingered with me for a while.
It’s true that in society, men feel more pressure to be taller than women, but whether it’s attractiveness level or a sign of authority, my height affected my self confidence.
In my teens, I wore platform shoes to school and walked around New York City, dragging those heavy clunky shoes underneath me. My feet hurt, and I had a callous right in the middle of the ball of my feet. But the pain was worth it. I can see why a surgery that costs upwards $100,000 and months of recovery is an option. If I had the money and resources, I would probably think about this surgery if it was available when I was younger. I guess this is one of those moments when having limited options leads to opportunities. Because learning to love my height taught me valuable lessons about problem-solving, gratitude, and how I navigate the relationships in my life.
My journey to loving my height happened in three phases.
Short and Stylish
I ditched the heels and started wearing sneakers when I was in college and became fiends with a girl who wasn’t that much taller than me. She had style. I remember how she wore these split toe Nike shoes for informal wear and green patent leather Prada flat pumps to dress up. I liked her style so much that the height started to matter less. I realized that height didn’t matter as much when you carry yourself and wear clothes that fit well. I couldn’t afford the Prada, but when I graduated and started working, I saved up and got the Nikes.
During that time, I would still feel the need to wear heels if I had to go to an event, but at least for daily life, I gave myself the gift of comfort. But when I started doing yoga. I realized how unkind I have been to my feet. This is the second phase.
Yoga and Self-Confidence
There are two poses mainly, that made me want to take care of my feet. One is mountain pose or tadasana. Second pose is seated forward fold or paschimottanasana. Mountain pose allows me to feel my feet, every part of it, and appreciate what they have to do to keep me balanced. And in the forward folds, the gaze or drishti is on the feet. Seeing my toes, grabbing on to my feet, there’s a connection that happened to me in these poses. I started feeling and communing with parts of my body that I never thought about much. I haven’t heard of a workout that encourage you to just stare at your feet, because it’s not about getting toned. Yoga gives me a level of intimacy with my body that I have never experienced.
Because of yoga, I avoided shoes that hurt my feet. I had to be able to walk in my shoes comfortably.
The third phase is being with my husband, a person who loves me and doesn’t care about my height. There are things we can do that are in our control to improve self-confidence. And not just the yoga, but choosing to be with someone who makes us feel enough when we are with them.
I Am Older
I’m 49 years old now. I play tennis and hike with my husband. I still do my yoga. I take dance fitness classes. I know that getting a nail in the femur and slowly lengthening the rod to get taller doesn’t make you immobile. People who have done it, according to the LA Times article, run marathons. And they remove the lengthening device once you’ve reached your desired height. People who get it move on with their lives, taller. I get it. But in my case, there are a lot of things I have learned and gained by embracing my height. I have learned to love my body and found someone who loves it equally as it is.
Without Leg-Lengthening Surgery
Eli, the 18-year old who went through the surgery stands at 5’ 7” and wants to grow an extra 3.2”. I’m reminded of Diego Schwartzman, the Argentinian professional tennis player who at one point was #8 in the world. He’s 5’ 7”. The average male tennis player is 6’ 7″. I also thought of Simone Biles and if she would be as great as she is if she decided to tinker with her 4’ 8” frame.
I get how life-changing this surgery can be. Getting a few more inches is no longer limited to wearing heels. It provides hope and empowers us. But if your height is bothering you and you’re thinking of getting one, I hope you find your path to self-acceptance without it. In my own journey, the lesson is to find inspiration in others, find a connection with yourself, and also to surround yourself with people who appreciate who you are.
